Loving Yourself

Just now i took a nap and i had a very interesting dream about myself.. i dreamt that the youth had another evangelistic gathering.. not the connection 333 kind but it seemed more personalised cos i could talk to the guests more on a personal basis.. and while talking to them, i went around praying for some of them and even sharing things from my own life with them and when i did, they just broke down and cried under the power of the Holy Spirit as they knew in their heart of hearts that what i was saying was true.. i think i did it to about 3 of them.. i think some received Christ if i'm not mistaken but in any case, the Holy Spirit ministered to them...

And what was interesting was that in that dream, i was able to share personal stuff with them, not having to care about how they would perceive me or what they would think about me.. i had that confidence in who God is and in who i am in God and what God has done for my life that even the bad things that i did in the past became a testimony.. and as the reality of it resonated within the hearts of those i was talking to, they knew there had to be something more and even the things that i shared about myself and God's dealings with me spoke to them... and i just had the boldness to go and put my arm around them and pray for them and as i stepped up to it, the Holy Spirit would just move and they would break down...

Now God knows that unless He does some work in my life, i wouldn't do these kind of things otherwise.. i would say that seeing myself move like that even brings a little bit of apprehension at the present but we'll wait and see what God will do.. ;) so what does that have to do with loving yourself? simple.. you can't really minister to people with such a freedom not worryinging about what they think about you unless you really love yourself and have that assurance deep within you of who you are in God and how secure you are in God.. that no matter what other people would have to say about you, you love yourself and see yourself in the same way that God sees you that nothing can shake you.. and you get your identity from that higher place of abiding in Him.. from that place of knowing that God loves you, you can therefore love yourself and move in such a confidence in His unconditional love that you dun care what other people think.. external things can't hurt you, can't move you cos deep inside you have a steady and secure witness of who God is and who you are in God.

It's about loving yourself just as you are... And you wun condemn yourself but instead you'll love yourself even despite your obvious faults, imperfections, failings and inadequacies, knowing that He sees you as you are and accepts you as you are.. you won't even need to compare yourself to others whom you think can achieve more than you do.. You're even gonna look back at those painful moments in your life when you made all those bad decisions and you're not gonna use those memories to berate yourself but you're gonna love yourself through it, embrace it and use it as a testimony of God's goodness and amazing grace in your life. Loving yourself is not just some concept we can just touch upon on the surface.. we need to love ourselves deeply... cos if we can't even love ourselves, how can God expect us to love our neighbours as we love ourselves?

If there's one thing that Singapore needs to learn, it's this.. once we become secure, we don't need to go around comparing ourselves to everyone else, trying to be better than everyone else and trying to look like everyone else.. we'll be more accepting of each other's differences and appreciative of that God-given uniqueness in different people. Face it, society was never meant to be homogenous... when we get this right, i believe that evangelism will come easy, societal transformation will come easy... Christians out there... do you think we can get drive out the spirit of kiasuism from Singapore society completely? Cos we find it even within the churches.. it's not something that makes us unique.. it's something that makes us ugly... and for long the church has joked about it, laughed about it, told lotsa stories about it, practised it.. but never once have i heard a clear clarion call being sounded against it! That's cos like the world, the church has seen the "value" and "advantages" of being kiasu... of being one step ahead of the rest.. of having better flooring and nicer seats and grander church buildings.. oh if only we loved ourselves enough to see what this is doing to our society! If we love ourselves, we won't get caught up with the drive to be just like everyone else but only better. Can't we trust God that He's more than enough?

God was showing me a couple of weeks back why He put me together with the international students in History class.. it's cos He wanted me to learn how to love myself.. that i dun need to conform to other people and how i think they expect me to act. He wanted me to appreciate myself for who i am especially when i'm with different people.. oh sure there's gonna be the usual hangups even as i struggle to communicate myself to others.. and trust me it's not as easy as one might think. But He wants me to know that despite all my inadequacies, even if i make mistakes or if i make a fool of myself in front of others, it's ok... Tell that to a guy like me who was obsessed with perfectionism and you'll get a reaction like what happens when sodium hits water... but it's nonetheless necessary for my growth... i dun need to try so hard to be someone... just have to be myself...

The Powers of the Age to Come

I was on the bus this morning and i heard the Holy Spirit say to me "Why do you lay unnecessary burdens upon yourself?".. i kinda knew what He meant by that cos many times i often find myself being so overly concerned about my spiritual life that it gets into legalism.. in the evening i heard Him singing over me that He loves me... den went out for a walk again to spend some time with God and i was just communing with Him and there were several things that He dropped into my spirit.. and He was showing me how i stuggled with issues of control and how even in my prayers, i try to control Him... if you think about it, it's really ridiculous.. but it's really about an expression of my own efforts to reach Him.. efforts that will just end up failing miserably.. and during this season in my life it seems that God is causing them to fail deliberately so as to cause every form of striving to die so that i can just let Him be Him.. He wants to bring me to a deeper level in Him but first He has to get me to stop trying to reach Him on my own... He was telling me that i just needed to receive His love... it's that simple... no need for fanciful prayers.. His love is powerful enough to bring breakthrough in my life, break through all my ungodly mindsets, fears, doubts and needs of control and just bring me to that place of restedness and surrenderedness in Him...

So when i took that walk with Him this evening, He just stilled my spirit within me, took the words right out of me (i usually talk a lot when i pray.. not this time..) and just brought me to that place of listening... And in that place of rest, there He was depositing eternal truths into my spirit.. For one, He wants to bring me into a transition from Jacob to Israel.. Jacob means supplanter.. and it talks about the striving that i go through to try to reach the next spiritual level.. But Israel means prince of God.. it's a place of ruling and reigning with Him from that place of surrender, oneness with Him, and finding His strength being made perfect in my weakness...

So what does all this have to do with the powers of the age to come? Let me discuss that briefly... The writer of Hebrews talk about the powers of the age to come.. he doesn't really talk much about it but we do know it exists and that people, even from the time of the early church have experienced it.. i personally believe that the powers of the age to come talk about the power of God that is gonna be manifested not in the last days but after.. It's the power and glory that's gonna be manifested in the millenial reign of Christ when the kingdoms of this earth have become the kingdom of Lord and God. It's the power of heaven manifested on earth "as it is in heaven"... and i believe that no one has really known or imagined what kind of power this might be like.. it's that power that no eye has seen, no ear has heard and no mind has conceived but that God reveals through His Spirit. It's that incomparably great power mentioned in Ephesians by which God brings us increasingly and abundantly beyond what we can ask or imagine.. it's that power that human minds have not even thought about.. imagine the literal rule of heaven on earth.. people operating by heaven's standards.. in all areas.. including culture, technology, music and the arts... where heaven will find it's freedom of expression on earth through the saints in all fields.. talk about the wonders of the book of revelations being experienced as a reality upon the earth... no mind has even begun to comprehend the powers of the age to come... And the Bible is clear from the book of Hebrews that some have tapped into it, have operated in it... it's not even the power of God reserved for the last days.. it's beyond that!

And i believe that it's available for us to tap into.. for the Jacob generation, the Psalm 24 generation, the generation who seeks His face and who would say to Him "I will not let You go until you bless me!" You see, Jacob was supposed to meet God in Bethel for His second visitation where he was supposed to fulfill his part of his covenant with God and worship Him... And later we find that that was the time when God changed His name from Jacob to Israel, when he was at Bethel worshipping God... but then one night before Jacob even goes back to Bethel, God decides to visit him... and in the darkness of the night, Jacob was nonetheless able to recognise his divine Visitor for who He was and told Him "i will not let you go until You bless me" Jacob demonstrated that spiritual violence that was needed to possess the kingdom. And so his divine visitor pronounced His blessing early, in advance.. he proclaimed the name Israel upon Jacob even before Jacob had comleted his mission of worshipping the Lord in Bethel. What does this speak to us? It shows us that there is a place of wrestling with God in the wilderness and the deadness of night that despite our circumstances, our faith may find its expression in our spiritual violence that though weak and restless, we may tell Him, "I will not let You go until You bless me!" This unrelenting faith will procure for us a release of God's blessing in advance, before it's time! That's how we get a taste of what it means to walk in the powers of the age to come... if we're bold and daring and audacious enough to believe Him for it!

Remember Mary who had such an audacious faith and procured a miracle before its time? Jesus clearly told his earthly mother that His time had not yet come when she approached Him for help to turn water into wine.. Yet, she entered a place of faith and rest and such a surrenderedness to the will of God in telling the servants "Do what he tells you".. Then she walked away.. She didn't stay to strive or argue or pray... she just trusted Jesus.. and many times we enter such a place of striving in our prayer lives which really isn't necessary.. sometimes, it takes greater faith to keep quiet and leave the result to God than to stick around trying to talk Him into it.. Such great faith procured for her a miracle before its time... And Jesus has saved the best wine for last. We have an invitation to apprehend and lay hold of the powers of the age to come and procuring such a power before its time if we enter into such a place of faith that Mary did in her time...

God is raising the bar and i believe that what has not yet been seen is more exciting that what has already been seen.. so we continue to hope for what we do not yet have and continue trusting in God for the "no eye has seen, no ear has heard", the "increasingly and abundantly beyond all we can ask or think".. i believe this power is available to an entire generation of God-seekers, those who seek the face of the God of Jacob. This generation is gonna re-define the church's definition of forerunners.. cos their forerunning ministry is not just forerunning a future move of God.. they're forerunning the Kingdom age and giving us a taste of what to expect when Jesus brings the fulness of the Kingdom upon the face of the earth. These forerunners are gonna be ambassadors of the Kingdom. Their lives are the prophecy, a prophecy of the things to come in the coming Messianic Kingdom.. and as they move upon the earth with heaven's power and authority and the release thereof, people are gonna get a taste of what it will be like in the millenium reign of Christ and even in eternity beyond. It's a great departure from mere Christianity and the worship of the church... How do you think heavenly music sounds like? How do you think heavenly art looks like? How do you think heavenly food tastes like? These will be forerunners of the kingdom in their own various fields... Their cry is not just for the revelation but also for the expression of Jesus.. they're gonna manifest the manifold wisdom of God.. They are heralds of the coming age and heralds of the King and the coming consolidation of His rule upon the earth. they proclaim "open up the gates for the King of glory!".. their cry is gonna be "let Your kingdom come and Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven" They shout "the Kingdom of God is at hand" since their lives are a prophecy, those who reject them also reject the age that is to come and the King of that age, the righteous King of the Ages... it's almost like they're living out the future in the present. It's Kingdom now! It's out of this world, out of this time and out of our mind. The Hebrew for eternity, owlam, means time out of mind. They're gonna manifest such a power and glory that is both out of their time and out of the boundaries of the mind- boundaries of human comprehension, arguments and structures. That's why God hjas to shake us out of our current existing mindsets cos He wants to make room for the new wineskins He's gonna release upon the earth!

Can you imagine the character that they're gonna walk in? They're gonna walk in the love that is of the age to come! Love that the earth hasn't seen before, joy that the earth hasn't seen before, peace and so on.. It's all beyond supersized.. And with their release upon the earth, how can satan's kingdom stand? Each of them that die along the way would only serve as seed for more of them to come forth. They're not gonna love their lives unto death but they're gonna walk in such radical love and obedience that they're even gonna redefine the term radical...

I wanna be part of this company... and it's all birthed out of intimacy and seeking God and learning how to rest in Him by faith. It's being found in Him in weakness, ceasing all strife and allowing Jesus to be formed in us by the power of the Holy Spirit such that in that place of surrenderedness, oneness and acknowledging our weakness, we find our strength and dependence in God.. we find that God takes us beyond ourselves that we move in resurrection power and that we end up doing things that we wouldn't be able to do otherwise.. cos we're connected to Him... we find that through the death that He leads us into, we move into a new place of partnering, ruling and reigning with Him.. the death of restlessness and striving brings us into a place of abiding...

That's where i wanna be... ;)

Can Sin Win?

Been spending a lot of time in the presence of God these days and there are just certain truths that i've been learning and meditating on..

The worship wars are set... satan wants to keep God's people from worshipping Him and from fulfilling their true destiny, what they were created for, which is to worship Him... so he comes along tempting the people of God sin.. he's still doing it now as he did in the garden... but let's look at what happens...

Can sin really keep us from the presence of God? God delights for us to be in His presence.. that's what we're made for.. for fellowship with Him.. and that's what Adam and Eve experienced daily in the garden where they would meet with God, walk with Him and talk with Him... now when sin came, remember that God still came down and kept His appointment... and He was looking for them.. but where were they? They were in hiding.. though man has sinned, it wasn't God who said "I'm not gonna come down there and be among a bunch of sinful ppl.." it was man who went into hiding! And this is a terrible and awesome truth for us to grasp in understanding how we enter His presence cos it's so true even in our lives today... Today when we try to enter His presence, we always look at ourselves, our own limitations and what we have done and we feel guilty and we end up not wanting to enter in.. even after we have sinned, we end up going into hiding and that's what prevents us from accessing His presence.. not that He casts us away but we refuse to meet with Him in the first place and access the throne of grace! And can you imagine how God feels on the other side of it? Here He is just waiting for us to come and meet with Him while we go into hiding...

Now i'm gonna say something so radical that it sounds almost heretical.. do you know that sin doesn't keep us from God?? It really doesn't (unless of course you persistently choose sin over God).. cos God's abundant grace has already made every provision for sin and transgression through the blood of Jesus shed freely for all mankind! At the cross, sin has been defeated! So sin cannot keep us from God! But what will? and what does? We keep ourselves from God... In our failure to approach Him and humble ourseves before Him to ask for His grace.. in our somehow warped view that God is out to get us and is just waiting for that one act of transgression to cut us off from His Kingdom.. How small-minded we are! And it is this mindset that keeps us from experiencing the depths of His love and presence in worship... It is this that prevents us from functioning in our destiny, and what we're created for- which is to worship him and walk with Him.. and spending time away from God destroys us cos we're going against our very purpose, the very purpose by which our constitution as human beings were made, which is to worship Him...

Sometimes we think that after we sin for a particular moment, God has left us forever and it would take a whole lot of pleading and begging with Him to somehow come back... that's a lie.. from my personal experience.. when i've sinned against God, there was a time that the Holy Spirit told me "I am with You"... now how does that work out? i thought i've sinned and therefore You've left me? nope... He's so near.. why? Because He loves us and wants to get us out of the daily things that beset us... cos if He really leaves us all alone, then nothing can help us! And He's just waiting for that one spark of agreement to bring us back.. And he will arrange circumstances in our lives to bring us back, even using everyday people to speak to us.. twice i remember that He anointed my uni lecturers that when they were lecturing at a particular instance, He used their words to speak to me regarding certain things in my life... my marketing lecturer was lecturing and he said what do you do when you offend a customer? Simple- just go and apologise. Sometimes, you need someone higher than you to sort it out so talk to your superior... and to me, that was prophetically speaking of God's call for us to come into His grace and forgiveness if we just repent.. of course it's not enough for us to do it on our own but we have our superior, our boss, our Great High Priest whose blood speaks better than the blood of Abel.. and we have Him speaking on our behalf! it's Him pursuing us.. in this dance, He takes the lead and if we trip somehow along the way, He catches us and continues with us and teaches us how to dance and flow with Him better!

The reason why we feel the pain of sin and feel bad our communion with Him is broken when we sin in the first place is because we are connected to Him.. that's almost like a paradox but it's true.. we feel the pain cos we know the Holy Spirit grieves inside of us.. we're united with Him so we feel it too! and if He's in there grieving, that means He's still in there! That means we are not totally helpless and that we're not cut off from Him and that there's still hope for us to return to that sacred place of communion! So we're not to go off on our own and sulk at our failures.. He's still there!

Ok.. so now we understand the depths of His grace.. so by His grace we return back to Him and come once again in that place of communion.. But satan of course doesn't want us to give more worship to God.. the truth is that satan is defeated so he knows his end and he's not gonna win.. so what does he do in the meantime? he wants to make sure that God receives the least worship possible and that the saints dun enter in their inheritance.. so he makes them live in the shadow of the past and feel guilty about that sin although they have already repented of it and God has already received them by grace.. so in the end, they dun worship but just live in a benign state of impotence and status quo, contented enough to just get their foot into the kingdom... now that's a sad life! that's cos though they know God's grace to forgive, they dunno the power of the blood of Christ to heal and restore! And recently God just did something prophetic in my life to show me the power of His grace and restoration.

I made a really dumb mistake and as a consequence of many wrong decisions i have undertaken in the past week, i missed this particular Subject Pool slot in school (it's some compulsory survey that we're supposed to go for).. and if you missed it, that means you'll get a penalty.. like if you missed a 1.5hr slot, you'll get 1.5 marks deducted from your total (the highest is 2.5)... and so in order to make up for the penalty, you'll have to sign up for more slots.. the thing was that i missed a 1.5 hr slot and there were not enough slots for me to sign up for to make up for my -1.5hr penalty!! I was angry with the system but i knew that i had only myself to blame for making those bad decisions and reaping the consequences... so i appealed to a higher authority... i emailed the supervisor in charge and asked her what i could do to make up for it... guess wad.. she emailed me back and i didn't have to make up for it... she excused me from that 1.5 hr slot that missed so i didn't have to pay the penalty! No strings attached... so on my paper, next to the course i missed, i have the word "Excused" written courtesy of the supervisor! And so we have a Supervisor up there in heaven who knows our mistakes and who knows that we can't make up for the consequences of the bad decisions that we make.. but when we appeal to Him, His blood is like that "Excused" stamp on my paper.. and He restores and repairs even the consequences of our mistakes so that we dun have the guilt of our past hanging on us! That's the power of the blood of the Lamb!

Ok... but in this spiritual warfare, satan still wants to rob God of worship so he keeps the believer in doubt and timidity.. satan whispers lies to their ears saying something like "you may have escaped this time but you'll end up sinning again in the future".. so although they have escaped their gloomy past, they now have a gloomy future ahead of them when their just waiting to repeat the same mistake and sin that they have committed previously... how now? One of the verses that God gave me recently is very familiar.. He has not given us a spirit of fear/timidity but of power, love and of a sound mind/self-discipline... what that means is that we are not to look to ourselves.. He has not given us a spirit of fear or timidity, looking to ourselves or our own limitations in how weak we are to possibly stumble over the same issues over and over again.. we're not to look at that.. God loves us in our weakness and we have to trust Him to keep us from falling... He's given us a spirit of power to overcome temptations that come our way.. He's given us love that never fails (1 Cor 13) and helps us to see people not as objects to use for our selfish reasons but as people who have the potential to manifest all that God is.. and He's given us a sound mind.. a mind that can carry out self-discipline in the midst of the darkest of temptations.. a mind that can carry out and make rational decisions so that we're able to decide not to sin and please God instead... in other words, he has put within us the ability to overcome and be all that He is to the world.. so we dun have to worry about stumbling over the same issues over and over again cos His power is at work within us (Eph 3) and we have what it takes in the inside of us to overcome... but we must learn to access it.. we must learn to focus on it instead of our weakness and limitations.. and we must trust in Him... :)

So in the worship wars, we know that satan is defeated... can sin really win?? i believe not... maybe for some battles it has won... but the war is not over... and every new day is a new opportunity to experience God moreand and claim territory for Him. We have more opportunities to experience His faithfulness and divine attributes and have a testimony formed within us of who He is, a story written not just for men but for angels and demons to wonder at, causing them to bow in awe at the surpassing power and greatness of Christ. Jesus has won the victory!

Incarnational Love

I had an interesting dream last night.... i dreamt that i went into a pagan temple... seems interesting though that the temple had pews for people to sit on.. and i sat next to this young man and started talking to him... when he found out that i was a christian, it was like he was shutting off.. he wasn't interested to me when i trying to explain Christianity to him.. when i vaguely mentioned something about the Kingdom, it seemed that his alarm bells were ringing and he became disinterested in listening.. then i tried to make it more "culturally relevant" by trying to decontextualise my examples and illustrations and make it milder but each time i tried bringing it to my point, he would cut me off as if he didn't want to listen (and mind you, having the teaching gift and being good at arguments as i am, i knew in my dream that i would have won it... but how do you approach a guy who doesn't even wanna hear you out??)...

den he went out of the building and i followed him.. and i continued to follow him... and i remember doing him several small favours here and there which i cant really remember what.. but i knew that i had kinda given up arguing with him verbally but i was just demonstrating my concern with my actions faithfully through those small things that i was doing.. in the end as i was still following him around, he took a rest at a bench.. and i remember that he actually thanked me for all those little favours and began to open up to the gospel.. he even apologised to me for being rude and cutting me off when i was talking to him earlier...

when i woke up i realised that there were several lessons that we could learn from:
-when we wanna go after the harvest, we have to go where they are.. even if it means entering dark places.. even if it means entering their territory or their temples...
-baing culturally relevant, trying to tone down our gospel or even looking for clever illustrations will only give us a limited response... we can't afford to rely only on these things to reach this generation cos this generation is looking for something real... and they wanna see the gospel demonstrated through action..
-we cant try to win an argument at the cost of losing that window to speak into someone's life.. we have to keep that window open at all cost and we have to be careful and extremely wise in what we say to keep the other person from shutting off..
-we need to follow our targets, go out of the way faithfully and consistently to reach out to them... that's why in the sermon on the mount, Jesus tells us to go the extra mile for others...
-many times, the kingdom is found in small things... small little actions that add up and that make a difference...
-remeber to be guarded against attacks from the evil one.. i remember in my dream that i keep getting tempted with situations to distract me from my mission...
-God is in control of how it ends..

so sometimes, it's just better to shut up and let your hands talk.. the problem with this generation is that we're always looking for instant results, even in evangelism.. and if we dun see things happening like we wanna see them, we think that God's not working.. but we have to learn to trust Him and be patient, knowing that he has the end in mind since the beginning.. in Ephesians 3, paul talks about the love that supasses knowledge... So what is this love that surpasses knowledge? it's love that is incarnational, demonstrated through action.. we must become love.. enough of talk and arguments.. we must go beyond that. it's this incarnational love that's gonna win a dying generation for Jesus.. when Mark Hemans ministeres in service yesterday, he was talking about taking the glory of God to the highways and the byways.. so how many of us are willing to storm the gates of dark territory with the love of God.. penetrating structures, buildings, institutions and sytems.. in the natural, in the physical as well as in the mind and in the spiritual... we need to manifest this radical love.. then we'll see just what this radical love can do... :)

Are you on fire for Jesus? ;)

The Boundary Lines

A few days back i was at home and sometime at night, the Lord impressed upon me to take a walk with Him outside and pray... i was kinda hesitant at first cos i was just so tired for the day and i wanted to stay at home and rest.. the impression was easy enough to ignore.. but nonetheless i decided to trust the Holy Spirit and just go ahead.. when i did, i was met with such a deep presence of God that i felt that Jesus was really just walking beside me though i cant see Him.. i really enjoyed it and it was a totally refreshing experience walking with Him...

And one of the things that God was showing me during that time was concerning the nature of sin.. a few weeks back, God was showing me how satan deceives us with a perceived sense of loss that comes when we have an opportunity to sin but we don't. It's how he deceives us to think that we'll lose out and be worse off not having seized that opportunity to sin.. after all God will forgive us so might as well sin first and repent later... that kind of deception makes righteousness a chore and glorifies the "live for the moment" attitude when we think that we'll lose out if we dun take the opportunity to sin...

And so as i was walking with God, he was speaking to me from Psalm 16... one of the lines go something like: the boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places... surely i have a delightful inheritance... and he was showing me how there is gain and there is inheritance in choosing righteousness over the fleeting and temporary nature of sin.. many times we are not satisfied with the boundaries that God sets.. a common trend in today's universities is the increasing popularity of pre-marital sex or just follwing their impulse for the moment and engaging in it... but the Psalmist says that the boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places.. that God's boundaries are ultimately good and that it leaves us with a delightful inheritance.. that eventually we will not lose out but stand to gain when we choose not to sin or take up the opportunity to sin...

if we look Genesis, we see Jacob at war with Esau already from the time they were in their mother's womb.. and it represents the constant struggle between our sinful nature and our spirit.. between our flesh where we wanna do what we want and our spirit where we delight in God's law... but the Bible says in Galatians that those who do the works of the flesh will not inherit the kingdom of God... cos living in sin disqualifies us and if we continue to choose to live in sin and grieve the Hoky Spirit, we wun be prepared to take hold and receive the blessing when it comes just how Esau sold his birthright for a meal to satisfy his flesh and later missed out on the blessing... cos it's the Holy Spirit who prepares us to receive the blessing just as how Hegai prepared esther to become Queen.. the Holy Spirit will prepare us to inherit the kingdom and to rule and reign with the King...

and so if we want the kingdom, we must learn to preserve God's standard and uphold his boundaries, delight in His laws... the Bible says that godliness with contentment is great gain.. now what the devil wants to do is to so deceive our hearts that we need other things besides God.. he keeps us from the truth that we're complete in Him and that in Him we shall not want.. he tempts us with the things of the world and deceives us that only with doing/having them can we be satisfied.. he stirs that restlessness of lust in us with a continual desire for more and in the end we'll be chasing and running after... nothing.. cos that's what its truly worth..

but those who do the will of God lives forever.. those who are contented with living their lives as God would have them be.. and to them, he gives the great gain, that is their inheritance of the kingdom... the unseen is much greater than what is seen.. and having the inheritance of the kingdom is worth it cos it is truly valuable and none can take it away.. it's like how Jacob (the supplanter) moved from all his restlessness and striving into Israel (prince of God), to a place of ruling and reigning and resting in God.. that's the place of sonship...

And God spoke to me that this is the year of sonship.. where we'll learn to function as mature sons who know how to steward our kingdom inheritance.. that's why he's placing such a heavy emphasis on cleansing from sin cos sin keeps us from our inheritance.. it's like the transition from 2007 to 2008.. it parallels moving from Romans 7 where Paul talks about struggling with sin to Romans 8 where Paul talks about sonship and being more than a conqueror.. on this note, i have to say that much of the spiritual attacks, temptations and oppositions i've been facing lately have also been related to issues of sonship and fatherhood, of identity and who i am in God... It's like how what's happening in my life is prophetic of what God wants to do (and what's keeping us from it)... and i wanna overcome them and find my place in the kingdom as a mature son who moves in the authority of my Father.

It's like how Jesus was tempted by satan in the wilderness and he attacked Him by questioning His identity.. "if you are the Son of God," then do this... and many, i believe in the body of Christ especially with young people in my generation are struggling with issues concerning their identity.. it's an attack on us to keep us from true spiritual authority cos if we know who He is and who we are we'll be able to do great damage against the kingdom of darkness! But Jesus knew who He was and He overcame and after the period of temptation in the wilderness, He ministered in the power of the Spirit... so any of us feel like we're in the wilderness right now? Take note that it's the Spirit who led us here just as He led Jesus there.. and once our season of preparation if completed, we'll see Him work in us and through us like never before.. the solution to life's problems? Yield to Him.

n that same point about identity, it's appropriate for me to ask.. has it ever occurred to you why young people nowadays are so obsessed with personality tests??? like why are people so obsessed with blogthings?? or with similar personality questions that they try out on facebook?? the truth is, everyone out there is searching for who they are.. they want a true sense of identity and purpose in life and they're lookingt for someone to speak the truth to them on who they really are... well blogthings is just a counterfeit.. im not gonna let those tests decide who i am.. only God can do that.. that's why the prophetic gift is essential for this generation.. cos we need to speak the Word of God to one-another and we need to prophesy and call forth that God-given potential out from one another and see it in people regardless of their personal appearance, inadequacies, failures and circumstances.. we need to see beyond that and recognise their God-given potential and speak it forth! Why should blogthings have that department? It belongs to the church!

Dun lose sight of your inheritance! ;)

God or Entertainment??

One of the things that God was asking me in my heart a few days back was whether i want Him because of His entertainment value or simply because i just want Him or who He is? cos the very fact is God is entertaining... like when you first get into the church and u realise how cool it is with its loud music and riffs... or like when u first discovered about spiritual gifts and tried it out on a couple of times and it works and you get a kick.. or like when you first get acquainted with the Holy Spirit and your body starts shaking, maybe even falling over.. have we become spiritual junkies? have we chased after God or the things of God to really know Him or jus tbecause He has entertainment value... has God merely become an alternative source of entertainment, a substitute for other forms like TV, com gaming, etc?? what if he takes the entertainment value away and shuts it all down?? what if the music does fade and all really becomes stripped away?? does no more kick mean no more God? will we then leave God and become disillusioned with the church? what if God called you to serve in a recently-started ministry and you dun see much fruit and fireworks... will you still be faithful or will you just opt to move to the worship min (cos apparently lotsa cool stuff goes on there??)... is our service to God really dependent on our obedience to Him or merely based on the entertainment value we're getting from that act of service??

i was listening lately to a sermon on the tabernacle of David and one of the things that caught my attention was the fact that it was just one small tent... it didn't have all the design and intricasies of the tabernacle of moses or all that fancy gold like the temple of Solomon.. but the glory of God was there. And it represents our simple bare lives made of dust but filled with the breath of His Presence and divine glory... and the tabernacle of David is what He's gonna raise up in these last days... simple men but carriers of His glory.. there may be no fireworks or elaborate display of craftsmanship upon that tent.. so all distractions on how nice the design was would not be present.. but all will be consumed and focus on the glory of God right in the middle.. on who He is, His eternal virtue and character, worthy of our worship whether it may seem boring or not...

God bless! :)

The Power of Memories

I was on the bus on my way to school sometime this week when my mind drifted back to last year's WMD cam.. how we experienced the presence of God, how vibrant the worship was and how the people were so passionate and on fire for Him.. and when i was pondering that on the bus, i felt God's presence with me and i felt a sense of expectation rising within my spirit and i started thinking about the power of our memory..

It's a precious gift that God has given us.. now some of you may disagree cos when looking back even in your immediate past, there are just some things u wanna forget.. there are just some things you dun wanna think about.. there are just some things that we all did in the past that we wished we never done and that has gotten us in quite a bit of trouble and chaos.. haha.. but memory is powerful cos when we use it to remember God, to think about what God has done and even focus on that, we're keeping our expectation on God and who He is.. our focus rests on Him and our faith rises up as we engage Him.. it's almost like we're re-living that same experience when He showed Himself to us, when we saw Him working in and through our live and we saw Him faithful in the circumstances that we faced! And that simple memory brings us hope for the future -that God will not leave us nor forake us- and faith for the present, that He can and will bring changes into our lives..

Remembering Him and what He has done is like an act of worship... As how in th Old Testament, generations of saints set up altars and memorial stones to commemorate God and what He has done in their midst and to remember the revelation of who He is. Moses set up an altar called Jehovah Nissi. Abraham set up an altar called Jehovah Jireh. The Israelites took up 12 memorial stones from the bottom of the Jordan River to commemorate their miraculous crossing over... Remembering God is a powerful thing.. it builds our faith, centres our focus on Jesus and even causes us to have such an awareness of His presence at the moment...

Memories are powerful and the devil knows that... that's why he wants to keep us dwelling on the past, our past mistakes, our past sins and failures.. and when we look at that, we get stuck.. looking at our failures wun bring faith for the future.. rather, an overwhelming sense of hopelessnes and submission to satan's unrelenting accusations.. it can keep us trapped... but there's always the power of praise and worship to bring our focus on what God has done, lift our spirits and impart faith in us for breakthrough...

One of the things that i understand with my walk with God is the deception of sin and following worldly desires... Chasing after sinful pleasures is all vanity... and that's what it is when u remember it.. you will know how empty, useless and pointless it was, how much of a waste of time it was.. how the fleeting experience wasn't even real... that's why its called deception.. you get stuck at that sorry state and end up in an endless cycle craving for more to fill the void in your life that only God can fill... But the other thing i learned from my walk with God is that when you experience God in your life, it's so real that even when you remember it, you will be filled with such a sense of God and with faith such that it's almost as if you're re-living His wonders afresh.. and knowing the power of memories will bring us into that dimension and help us enter into that realm of faith and into His Presence...

It says somewhere in the minor prophets (micah i think) that God has a book of Rememberance written when He heard the conversation of those who were talking about Him... i wonder what God was writing in His book of Remeberance.. i wonder if He has more than one.. i wonder what He writes regarding His own secret histories with man.. hmm.. if God had a secret bog, what would he write.. what would He want to remember?? maybe something like this??

"I remeber when _____ worshipped me today so passionately with all his heart. And i just felt so loved by him..."

We do know that Jesus said to His disciples that wherever the gospel was preached, what Mary of Bethany has done in anointing Jesus with her worship would also be remembered...

Does our worship leave as much of an imprint in God's sacred memory as much as His wonders and personal dealings leave with ours??

God bless...

Flow...

I'm really thankful to the Holy Spirit for being around during Youth Service last Saturday... Sheela really has a gift for leading people into the presence of God... apparently the worship prac started late and they din have so much time to prac but in the end, the presence of God was just there that even when i was in a different room listening to the music, i felt the drawing in my spirit...

So when we prayed during our normal 330 slot, we did it slightly differently and just invited the Holy Spirit to come instead of merely taking turns to pray... and God just zapped me there and then and i started shaking as usual before finding myself on the floor.. den as God's presence intensified, we started making prophetic decrees over the lives of people in Sojourners and we just released the presence of God in the place.. and i just felt the presence of the angelic hosts there.. there were warring angels stationed, and i felt that the wheels of God were there too to bring that change and breakthrough in our lives... i saw rain falling down and i also felt the fire of God upon my hands... i felt it was really dynamic.. surely God was there...

And then after LG, when we went for service, we had extended worship... though the presence of God was there, a host of angels were there and people seemed to be somewhat responding, i felt that the anointing was stuck at a certain level and not as much as what i expected and hoping for as we experienced earlier on.. and i felt that there were hindrances cos people were holding back on certain issues in their lives.. though people were beginning to respond though... and i was just wondering within myself that why issit that many times we experience God's glory during worship prac but it doesn't go that far during the actual worship?? though i may have a few reasons i can think of, it still perplexes me, even perhaps vexes me as well... maybe we lack a sense of expectation?? by right when the saints are assembled, the anointing should be stronger rite?

so i really thought hard about this and it seems that the answer that God finally impressed upon me can be expressed through certain "what ifs"... like what if we didn't have LG at 4pm? What if we had continued on the flow from the 330 prayer service and den maybe only go for LG after the whole service is over? What if we weren't so contained by structures but we have the freedom to move within them to really see Holy Spirit move in our midst... maybe the dynamics that would result would be even better... we have to operate by new wineskins.. cos we are living stones.. living, breathing and moving stones, fashioned after Him but able to move and flow together with the Holy Spirit, giving Him freedom to move as He so chooses... what if...

Another thing i learned from youth service on sat is the importance of setting the anointing, even after the sermon... cos some ppl's hearts may not yet be ready to move into the altar call.. and that's why the anointing has to be set, focus must be called upon God and everyone just in the spirit of worship and looking to Him to do something in our midst.. in this sense, maybe singing a song to set us in order would be helpful... i dun wanna do the same things over and over again, the same way over and over again.. it's boring. and i dun serve a boring God...

and so i wanna move with the Holy Spirit, learning to hear Him and flow with Him on the job and be so one with Him that we'll all be able to move to a higher place in God, walking with Him and flowing with Him... and i always wanna learn from the Holy Spirit even after every service and make the right tweaks and changes so that next time, the flow and dynamics of the service will be better as we're better aligned with Him and what He wants to do.. :)

The Treasure Room

Ok... now at least i kinda know what it's like to prophesy when your spirit is accessing a place in heaven or the spirit realm but your body is not literally there.. but you know that the things that God is showing you with your spiritual eyes are just as real... i experienced that today when we were praying in Gatekeepers.. i was at the new place and i was walking ard the new place and even with my eyes open i could see the ppl in the knew place but i knew deep in my spirit that i was also accessing the treasure room of heaven... hmmm... 2 places at one time?? if you look at a passage in John, Jesus says that no one has gone into heaven except for the Son of Man who is in heaven (im too lazy to look for verse reference.. anyway, it will show up in the NIV footnotes and KJV i think).. the interesting thing is that He was referring to Himself and that He was on earth at that time.. so how can He be on earth and also in heaven?? Cos His spirit is up there.. and the bible says that we're seated with Christ in heavenly places... it's spiritual dynamics...

Ok so what did i see in the treasure room?? I saw weapons.. golden swords as well as lotsa gold.. and i believe that this symbollically speaks of God's call upon my life as well as Sojourners.. to move into territories (nations) and open them up with prayer, worship and intercession.. that's what the weapons are for.. they're for warfare.. and the gold is for missions.. so that we'll have the funds to move into the nations.. i also saw that there were books in the treasure room.. i saw the angels ready to minister even as God was doing a work in the families of ppl...

As i was walking around and everyone else was gathered holding hands and praying, i saw the fire of God as a pillar in the midst of the circle, which we were to catch for our personal and corporate revival.. i also saw a well in the middle and it was like God's invitation for us to come and drink from Him... i also saw weapons coming down for us...

I really thank the Holy Spirit for being there.. i really lyk going for Gatekeepers cos its always a Spirit-charged atmosphere.. and something always happens..

;)

Get Real!

Today, God was showing me something interesting about my behaviour in class and certain spiritual parallels in my spiritual life.. I find that now as He's dealing with mindsets and showing us why we do what we do, life gets all the more interesting and amusing as He shows us how really dumb we can get in all our feeble attempts at spirituality..

Ok so anyway, i came into History class today not having done my readings (as usual).. the week before, the prof saw how the class was trying to smoke through the discussion without having done the readings.. so he gave all of us a gentle reminder how we need to actually read them cos the stuff coming out for the test will involve them.. and that week i happened to be sitting in front without even having printed them out, right in plain view of the professor.. needless to say, that remark was for me too...

Ok so i came into class today not having read them again.. but guess wad.. at least i printed them out...so that means, i can safely hide behind the paper when he asks questions about the readings, pretending that i have actually done them... hahaha

And it seems that the Holy Spirit Himself was amused and almost sniggering at my hypocrisy and how much it mimics my Christian walk.. i was hiding behind the readings, to save face in case the prof thinks that i actually didnt do them (and i didn't indeed)... i was doing it more for his sake, and saving my face.. not for my own sake so that actually i'll be prepared when the test comes, which was where the professor was really getting at...

And many times, we give God a form of religion and a form of Christianity but denying its power.. we come to church bearing that holy face trying all forms of spiritual and religious acrobatics to save our faces before God and before the congregation of the saints.. The real question is this: Do i really wanna stop sinning and doing things that displease God cos i wanna save my own face before Him (but deep down inside, my heart is far from Him)? Or do i wanna really let go of all this things that hinder my walk because God knows that its really for my own good? Am i just putting up an act of counterfeit spirituality before God and before men just to save face or is my heart really genuinely repentant? Knowing that God knows what is best and that obeying Him is really the best plan for our lives cos He really loves us so much...

when God shows you your own heart, it really is so laughable.. makes you wonder how He can stand having us as his own people and his ambassadors/representatives on earth.. we can't hide from Him.. He knows.

And so, God, make me real and true
Having a heart completely for You...

The Taxi Driver

Today God set me up again... but it wasn't like the ones where i would minister to other people.. today's divine appointment was different.. i was the one who was in for a lesson.. and it came through the most unlikely of sources.. believe it or not, i met a prophetic taxi driver!

and so today i woke up from my afternoon nap in a hurry... my mom was going out of town and i was contemplating whether or not to send her to the airport.. i decided earlier that day that i would but with the nice bed around things began to felt different.. after all, what else is there to see at the airport anyway?? but somehow i just felt i should go so i made the split second decision to tag along with my mom just as she was about to leave the house...

so we boarded the taxi that was to take us there.. and there was this nice Chinese man who was the driver.. what first struck me was his fluent command of English.. he seemed to be quite old but he was really friendly and my mom struck up a conversation with him.. pretty soon, he was telling us his story, his testimony.. and i sat there in silence, contemplating the lessons that i was to learn from this taxi driver.. each person has his own testimony to tell and what better way could God humble an arrogant yaya preacher wannabe like myself through a testimony of a txi driver? the supposed member of the lower rungs of Singapore society? i had much to learn... This is his story...

He was a Christian when he was young, highly active in Youth For Christ until he went to army where he became a bad boy.. he fell away from God and backslided for 35 years... I soon found out where he learned his great English.. he was a very educated man, a high-flier during those 35 years.. he was regional director of an American company.. after he had built it up, he decided to start his own company and he was a self-proclaimed LKY of the business world because of his perfectionism and his willingness to cut every employee that doesn't perform.

He was so self-driven that when God sent him a warning signal during the Asian financial crisis, he used his own power to pull himself through and even expand his company into other places in the region.. his friend then urged him to turn back to God during the financial crisis in 1997 but he told him that he didn't believe in God anymore...

He was well-respected in his field.. when my mom asked if he was a doctor, he replied that he was more than a doctor... doctors would get to treat 200 spine surgeries a year.. he would do 2000... and those are really delicate operations.. he received training in America but he surpassed even that initial knowledge so that he was called upon to train others in such procedures.. in fact, many leaders in the field respected him such that when he wanted to just step into the operating theatre to do an operation himself, they allowed him.. whenever he would present something new in the medical field, he had the dean of NUH's ears.. the dean would sit right in front of him to hear him out...

Needless to say, he was a high-flier... he used to sit in business class on plane rides and he was used to being chauffeured around... but now, there he was driving a taxi chauffeuring others...

You see, God didn't give up on him... throughout his 35 years of backsliding and rejecting God, God in His mercy stopped him in his tracks and humbled him...

SARS came to Singapore in 2003 and within a few months he went bankrupt.. he tried to hold it out on his own for a few months but his operating costs for his company went to 50-60 thousand a month.. by the eighth month, he surrendered. And God had to orchestrate that incident so that he could once again turn back to Him, serve Him and know Him.. he knew that he had come to the end of himself.. he couldn't depend on himself anymore.. God brought him to his knees until he finally surrendered.. and after 35 years he was found once again...

The taxi i rode today was filled with a sense of God.. i knew that i was in the right place at the right time and that God had a reason for wanting me to be there so that i could learn from this man's story.. he was so real.. he was telling us that at first it was hard being a taxi driver.. he did feel the sense of humiliation.. he even told us that sometimes, he used to cry when he was alone in the taxi.. but he also told us of the joy that he had that no matter what happened, God was with him through it all and that he had the joy to pull through despite all the loss and devastation..

He was then telling us of how God would speak to him in the taxi telling him which passengers to pick and which to avoid.. he would discern those whose spirits are not right so as to avoid conflict with them in the taxi.. when he would disobey Holy Spirit's prompting, then He would realise the wisdom of it cos he would be left silently praying that God would take charge of the unruly passenger... Sometimes, God intercepts his human logic by telling him to turn to places where there would not be any passengers waiting otherwise... but God would provide him one and he would be left with a testimony and a sense of how God really takes care of his needs! And i knew that our encounter with him that evening was really a divine appointment cos he was supposed to be off duty (cos it's CNY for crying out loud!).. but he felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit to answer the request for a taxi.. and God set us up with him to hear his humble testimony... God set us up...

One of the things i learned through all this is that it doesn't matter what you have on paper.. many of you out there may spend a good time of your lives trying to improve your grades or chase after your careers and neglect God.. and you may very well climb up the corporate ladder on your own strength.. but be warned that you may not stay there for long.. God in His mercy might get you! listen.. that thing you have on your paper is useless.. it is God who orders the lives of men and we are but dust in light of his will and unsearchable ways.. you may think you are somebody.. but think again... no matter how much you think that piece of paper is worth, it won't measure up to the far exceeding greatness of knowing God.. it's not too late for you to think about how you're living your life in the light of eternity and whether you're spending much of your life trying to chase after things that are really worthless...

which brings me to my next point... you may think that you have all that you want having a successful career, a great reputation, a stable income.. but do you have God? when do you think my taxi driver friend was most satisfied? Surely it was better driving a cab and enjoying the sweet fellowship of the Holy Spirit literally through every journey than having a great career but God not having a place in your life... which situation do you think is more rewarding? which situation do you think is more satisfying? which situation do you think best fulfills the innermost needs of the soul of man, that God-shaped void that all have been created with? there is only one Solution...

The consolation is, wherever you are, no matter how far away you have gone, God is always on a mission to get you back.. and He won't stop... 35 years cant keep Him away... nothing in your life is too hard to forgive or too shameful for his love to cover... He'll make you new again.. it's not too late to turn back... :)

God bless! ;)

The Death of the Prophetic Word

Today i went to church as usual and during the worship during youth service, i was just so bogged down and so caught up with what was (not) happening.. i was just really disheartened to see so few people coming regularly for youth service and when the worship started and people were like not really engaging God and deep down inside of me i just felt so burdened.. like why aren't they worshipping?? like why don't they seem to be responding?? those would be the foremost thoughts in my mind and i just feel so burdened.. i thought revival was coming?? didn't i see a spark during WMD last year?? didn't God say that our youth min would double??

so i was on my knees and deep inside my soul there was a travail.. and when Amanda sang "Spirit Touch Your Church", the Holy Spirit was speaking to me and in a sense, rebuking me and showing me how small-minded i was... He was not just only showing me how much i was looking at man and all man's faults instead of to Him, His greatness and what He can do.. He was showing me how i had a problem with His Lordship.. it was like as if He was asking me whether i would believe that He could bring revival, bring growth and do all the He said He would do despite what i was seeing.. and whether i actually trust His Sovereignty in doing so... so there and then i repented...

When Jesus died on the cross, Mary and His disciples must have really felt it.. They thought He was gonna be King and deliver Israel out of the hands of the Romans! They thought He was coming as a political Messiah who would be conqueror and ruler.. When Mary was at the cross, surely she must have thought of all the prophetic words spoken over Him, His miraculour birth, what Anna and Simeon prophesied over Him when she brought Him at the temple, How He changed water into wine and performed many miracles heralding the Kingdom of God... and at the cross, there was death... and it seemed as if a destiny was dying.. it seemed as if the pr5ophetic word was dying...

But what really died was the small-mindedness, the narrow perspectives and mindsets that Mary and the disciples had of Jesus.. He wanted to do so much more than just establish a political Jewish nation.. He came as a conqueror of the passions of people, beyond just the Jews but of the whole world.. that was what the kingdom of God was about.. the Kingdom established on the inside.. And so just as Mary had to experience that death at the cross, the death of her mindset, so do we need to undergo this season as a ministry..

As i was queueing up to buy my Oyster Omelette for dinner this evening, i was meditating on what God spoke to me during the service.. and then the Holy Spirit illuminated to me that now as a ministry we are experiencing the season of the "death" of the prophetic word.. and it was almost like Holy Spirit was saying "took you long enough" for me to realise that we are actually in this season as a ministry... cos God wants to test our faith to see whether we would still hold onto what He said despite what we see or don't see.. We've had a lot of prophetic words spoken over us.. from the vision of the painted house to the one about the youth min doubling.. and how does it feel like to see all this not materialize.. at least for now?? It works a death in us.. it causes us to die to our old mindsets and political dreams and ambitions... it causes us to die to mindsets that limit God.. cos He's One who does exceedingly and abundantly beyond we could ask or think...

So what does this mean.. the Bible says that unless the seed falls to the ground and dies it cannot bear fruit and multiply.. it is only a single seed and so as we face this seeming "death" of the prophetic word, we are facing the death of our small mindsets... only to see that God will take us beyond what we could even expect in the first place.. He would take us beyond the prophetic word that was spoken in the first place.. and He wants to bring us to a place of seeing from His perspective so that we can cooperate with Him and better steward the abundantly great things that He would do in our midst.. cos He wants to bring the overflow and He wants us to be prepared for it when He does bring it! Every prophetic word that has been sown into the ministry is gonna spring up way beyond what we can ask or imagine!

If you look at it in the other way, we can ask... why did God make Adam and Eve in the first place? Though He knew that they were eventually gonna sin and turn away from Him?? When sin came, it looked like death.. it seemed as if it was a death to God's dreams of having a people for Himself whom He can be with and fellowship with... it was almost like a death to God's creative plans.. but He saw beyond it.. He saw beyond the death that despite and through that very death, He would have to send His Son to die on the cross and so get a chance to prove and demonstrate His great love for mankind.. that through that very death, we gain access not just as friends but as sons, born into God's family by His very own Spirit! And that's way better than what Adam had! And among every generation and every person that sinned ever since, those who turned to God and experienced His redeeming grace had the shame of their sins transformed into testimonies, a living witness of who God is and His love as the pursuer of man's soul.. When sin abounds grace abounds all the more.. and such a demonstration of love and grace poured upon mankind because of the fall!!! because of what seemed like a death to all of God's plans totally.. Beloved, God knows what He's doing!

After death comes resurrection.. so this process of death means that we're actually moving! believe it or not.. it means that we're getting there and that we're on the right track.. so it's not a cause for being burdened or grived but for rejoicing cos God is moing us to the place where He wants us to be!

On a slightly different note, i was ministered to by what Pastor Caleb shared today.. That there's a purpose why God planted me in Salem.. That despite the seeming dryness all around, i have God as my source deep down, from whom i can draw my strength from.. and that God doesn't look for numbers... He is looking to see if i am faithful in doing what God has called me to... in holding the course though i don't see those promises getting fulfilled immediately...

Got death? ;)