These past few days...

There was some petty thing which was bothering me last friday... seriously, it was a small issue but i was just so bogged down by it.. and guess wad i decided to do? I decided to worship! Haha.. and guessed what happened during worship... the Holy Spirit was showing me all that nonsense i was in in treating Him like a drug.. it's something that's so prevalent much in today's "feel-good" Singapore Christianity and i wasn't spared from it... what happens is that: (1) Christian encounters problem (2) Christian mulls over it for a while until (3) Christian decides to worship to feel better... Worship then becomes a means to a selfish end. Why do we worship when we worship? Is it merely to feel good or feel better about circumstances around us? Or do we worship to bring God a simple sweet-smelling sacrifice? It all boils down to our intentions- whether we just want to make ourselves feel good or whether we want God to feel good, truly wanting to bring an offering before Him.. Many times worship becomes diluted and amidst the noise of sounds, are selfish motives are masked.. so there and then i had to repent before God for being so selfish and using worship to merely get high... We need Him to realign our focus and our minds and show us why we do what we do.. when something so seemingly holy is actually rooted in very selfish motives...

Went for revival meeting on saturday evening and the Holy Spirit so dealt with my heart during worship and the time after it... The sermon that Pastor Au preached during revival meeting was so timely and so relevant for me... when Jerry started praying for me, Holy Spirit came and i started crying as He started to work in my life deeply. And although i dun think he knows it, much of what Jerry prayed was actually prophetic and relevant to the issues that i'm facing in my life...

I heard the phrase "deep calls to deep" and i saw a picture of lilies which represent holiness... and i know God is calling me to a consecrated walk before Him... that not only the decisions i make at the start of the path should be holy but rather the entire journey, my walk, wherever i go and everywhere my foot treads every day.. and it's not easy man.. but as i live it out, i'd know the power of His presence and His holiness everywhere I go...

Before the sermon started, this thought just came through my mind but i didn't really have the chance to share it with *someone*.. the thing is, wherever we are and whatever we do, we are a voice and our actions speak.. we are either a voice for God or for the world.. for God and His value-system or for the world and the things that it treasures. and we are a voice cos it's reflected by what we do and how we live by... the daily choices that we make.. we're walking billboards, advertisements in this pathway of life and time for others to see.. they're watching us whether they're conscious of it or not and we're constantly publicising, releasing a message whether we're conscious of it or not.. but who's voice are we speaking for? Are we living out the voice of God or the world? Cos these things are reflected by the things we desire and chase after, the way we spend our time and what consumes our thoughts and passions every waking moment... There's no neutral ground.. we cant just be a blank slate, a blank billboard.. but we can choose who's message we're putting up.. through even the smallest of decisions that we face in daily life... It's time we live our lives differently from the rest of the world.. It's time we live out His message through our lives... It's time we let God speak... :)

Then yesterday, i went to church early cos i was supposed to lead worship for CC Worship Sunday.. and guess wad.. the Holy Spirit was around even before the session! While we were practicing and the musicians were just riding on two chords, Holy Spirit came so strongly and left me again shaking violently till i fell down and started rolling on the floor... den i sensed that the angels of God came and surrounded us and i saw the mercy seat of God right there... personally, i feel that God is calling me deeper to intercession.. so we ministered to the children and a number of them responded.. though i kinda felt weird to see that divide between those 2 groups- the ones who were ready to go on in God and the ones who weren't and were merely spectators as Holy Spirit moved in our midst.. the question is how do we minister to both.. and that's something that i'm not quite used to.. but i thank God that He moved so powerfully nonetheless.. :D Really great to see Him move and use the children in the area of prayer and intercession.. i've seen a bit of their development from cc prayer retreat until now and their prayers come in much more spontaneously and i bear witness with some of those things they prayed over people yesterday.. :) And thanks to all those who were part of the worship team for being so willing to come early and be part of what God was doing! You guys are fantastic.. :) Hope that those youth who went up yesterday were just as challenged to move forward in God as the some of the children were! :D

Went for dance prac after that and den went to eat lunch with everyone at Thomson Plaza.. first time i tried the oyster omelette at the food court there and it was seriously not bad! :) i liked the chilli too.. :) after that walked around for a while and watched Alvin and the Chipmunks in Yishun... i wasn't really hungry after that so i watched JK have dinner and as we talked about ministry and what God is doing, i received some downloads from God and a lot of what He has been speaking became clearer and as we shared there, i just felt that through that simple time of fellowship, there was something alive in my spirit... it's really different when you're with frens just talking or when you're with frens talking about God and having true spiritual fellowship.. it builds you on the inside...

Hope i don't waste the rest of my holidays away... :D