More Shakings

Just spent some time with the Lord and His presence is just soooooo wonderful! In this season when God is really dealing with me, He was showing me just now that He was teaching me intimacy.. in this season when He allows all the shakings, He was showing me how the Haggai 2 shakings are shakings that would remove hindrances to intimacy.. and why would that be? if we pursue the greater glory, we have to go through the shakings.. cos the glory of the latter house will be greater than the former.. the shakings prepare us for the glory cos they bring us to a place of greater intimacy with Jesus... a few days ago, i saw my heart in a vision and i knew that there were layers upon it that were hindrances to intimacy and i was praying for God to tear them open.. and i believe God is answering my prayers...

These shakings to restore intimacy are necessary so that we can have more of the glory of God in our lives. God has shown me that before this process, i was basically under the deception that just because i know a lot and i do a lot of things in ministry and cos even God anoints the things i do, that i'm close to Him... what a deception that was! Now i realise how much i really dun know! How lacking i am in terms of my worship and my service to Him! Last time, i used to relate to Him on the basis of ministry.. praying for things.. asking for His blessing or His opinion on ministry matters.. and i used to relate to Him on the basis of my spiritual gifts and how powerful i might become through His working through my life and yadayadayada... And how far i've falled in terms of relating to Him on the basis of intimacy!!! How far i was lacking and being so needy of Him and His presence! Oh but when i do seek Him and i spend time in intimate fellowship with Him, i come out different.. with a greater confidence and sense of authority that i've been in His presence and therefore, carry His virtue all around... that's what ministry's all about, letting His life flow through you...

I was praying just now and God showed me how i doubted His tender mercies.. it was like the Father calling out for me and it felt that the Father was just hugging me.. I knew deep down within me that i broke His heart because of my doubt.. can you imagine how it must have felt for Him when your own child doubts your own tender mercies?? And i was just repenting for holding to that mindset... even when we fail Him, He still extends His mercies to us cos we are part of the family...

Just now, the Lord was just revealing to me just a little deeper of the all-surpassing worth of Christ and how He has given us Himself.. can you imagine what that means? Him giving us Himself.. i'm at loss for words... being able to say to the Lord of all Creation "You are mine"... we do know that we are His.. but do we really believe that He is ours? It's just so precious! But many of us including myself have taken the preciousness of our relationship with Him so lightly.. we've taken it for granted... and i was praying that i would also experience the pain of His heart when that intimacy is violated so that i will live in holiness and righteousness and not violate it myself by sinning against Him...

A few weeks back, i was praying and i felt a deep longing in my heart, just a little bit of how God longs for intimacy with us and how His heart is broken because of that lack of intimacy.. im writing specifically about the church.. cos i sensed that we were just going through the motion with our programmes without drawing closer to Jesus.. but that's what church is all about.. and cries of intercession, violent groanings were just coming out of me and i know that they were expressing the longings of God for intimacy... not just that but they were also a violent cry of warfare, to tear away every hindrance to that intimacy with Him...

Jesus has purchased us with His blood and He's gonna get His full reward!